Charming Mallrats 90210 (Plus Bucklands guy!)
by kirst3101
Summary: This story combines all of Shannen Doherty's many "excellent" and "rewarding" acting roles, plus some violence and general gayness! If you liked Macbeth on Prue Street, read this! Why? Coz I know the author and she thinks my story is gid!


Chapter 1 - Prue is a retard  
  
"Oh honey Prue, how we love you, you're the queen of them all, the queeeeennn!"   
"Oh Prue you're so beautiful!"  
"Yeah Prue, we love you SO much!"  
Prue could hardly believe it, people LIKED her, and not just for her money either. The people were crowded round her, singing and calling her name. "Prue, Prue, Prue." They wouldn't shut up, it was beginning to get annoying. Then she saw Piper's face emerge from the crowd. "Prue, hurry the hell up and get out of your god damn bed you lazy bitch!" What the fuck was going on?   
Suddenly, Prue opened her eyes, and saw Piper standing over her. "Come on Prue, get your fat ass up, oh and don't forget your make-up, shnoogins." So it had all been a dream. Prue knew that having fans crowding round her was too good to be true. She was just plain, boring Prue. No friends, no boyfriend or girlfriend, nothing. She stuck her finger up at Piper and turned over, trying to block out Piper's high pitched whiny voice. It wasn't half as bad as Phoebe's though. "Piper, I can't find my panties, did I leave them in your room last... oh hey Prue." Phoebe said, blushing and running out the room.   
"I gotta go," Piper said, "Pheebs needs me." She rushed out, her long hair flowing behind her. "I'd love to cut it all off." Prue thought to herself. Phoebe always needed Piper, why didn't anyone need Prue? Even Kit fucked off every time Prue went near her.   
  
Prue heaved herself out of bed, and walked over to the full length mirror on the front of her wardrobe. Prue stared at the mirror. "Dammit, I was SURE I saw Eileen Treacle that time." She thought, looking at her own hideous reflection, no one else was there. Prue had been hunting for Eileen Treacle ever since Phoebe had told her about how she had seen her in a film and how she appeared in mirrors and stuff. Everyday after that Prue had looked in any mirror she could, trying to find her. "Oh wait, movie," Prue thought, "shit I thought she said woody, I thought she had seen that girl on her midnight walk she went on with Piper last week." Prue felt like an ass, not unusual for her. She put on her bathrobe, and walked down the large wooden stairs. She nearly stepped on a large nail sticking out one of the steps on her way down, it was as if someone had put it there deliberately. Nah, no one would do that to Prue, would they? She shrugged it off, and walked it into the large kitchen, with the large oven, and the large table. Everything was so large. Prue smiled to herself, she was a rich mother fucker, and she knew it. Phoebe was standing at the large worktop, chopping herbs. Prue hated those things, damn urbs, she just pretended to like them. "Hey Prue!" Phoebe said cheerily, stopping for a while to get Prue some cereal from the large cupboard, and some milk from the large fridge. "Phoebe, I'm not a baby, I can do it myself." Prue said angrily, snatching the Lucky Charms from Phoebe. "Yeah I know, but after the... you know."  
"I HATE it when you mention that, it's not funny!"  
Phoebe was standing there, laughing her ass off. "I'm sorry Prue, but it is!"  
Prue thought for a while, memories flooding back to her small, small brain.  
  
***  
  
Prue ran through to the dining room, her small white cheeks flushing. Her mother seemed busy eating, Piper was playing with dolls, and Phoebe was asleep. "Stoopid sisters." Prue thought, running back through to the living room. She decided to go play in the garden for a while. She ran, again, past the dining room, her mother ignoring her, a common thing. She could see the garden, the door was wide open, the garden was calling her. Prue started to run faster, as fast as her legs would go. Then she heard a large crack, then a thud, then another thud. Turns out the crack was the glass, the first thud was Prue's head, and the other thud was Prue hitting the wooden floor. Hard. Her mother simply looked round, cursing to herself that she should get the glass door fixed, while Prue lay, blood spurting from her temples, her nose, her ears, her.......  
  
***  
  
"Prue, hello? Anyone there?" Phoebe shouted, waving her scrawny arms in front of Prue. "Ew." Prue thought. "God you're such a retard." Phoebe said, giggling to herself as she pranced out of the kitchen, up the stairs. Prue simply stared down at her cereal, but she knew it was true, she really was a retard.   



End file.
